Sunday, October 19, 2008

Conflicts are Gorgeous...!

I normally refrain from using such provocative statements but a small incident that occured few minutes ago in my proximity changed my perspective about "Conflicts" instantly. Well, I am at the Continental Lounge at Newark Liberty International Airport awaiting announcement of my connecting flight to Detriot with a bunch of wonderful and engaged passengers. A marathonic non-stop flight from Mumbai, overdoze of watching cartoons on board and inadequate sleep since past several hours has certainly skewed my circadian rhythym and in situations like these I normally prefer remaining glued to my iPod (calms me) but I felt scheme of events here at the passenger waiting area demanded a quick post :)

A quick high wattage interaction (it was quite a scene) between a young couple (perhaps newly married) was quite a shock to almost all of us. No one could doubt their mutual positive affinity and fondness for each other - to me they looked like a near perfect couple since they boarded the flight at Mumbai CST Airport. To give you an example, Steve (equipped with a Nikon SLR) has been taking Estella's (guess I heard her name right) snaps at light-speed successions whereever "No Photography" board is missing. Estella on the other hand has bought quite a number of collectibles - magnets, momentos, T-shirts, Books, Backrest Pillow etc for Steve....believe me - Love is indeed in the air here at EWR. But don't they tell you Good things don't last long ! Steve perhaps voiced his concern for one of the seemingly expensive momentos Estalla purchased and My God-what followed was a brutal warof words between the "perfect" couple-resulting in widespread agony-direct (to them) or induced (to me;)). Now this trigger was enough for me to think how can one avoid/manage situations like these. Lets see...

  • Reality - C'mmon lets admit that to disagree (or clash) with near and dear ones is a part of life.
  • Black or White - During war of words we tend to focus on the "said" things and declare a person as Good/Bad, Caring/Heartless etc- but hey communication is not all about talking...lets give some credit to the so called feelings of those involved too.
  • Zero Escalation - We might not reach an agreement immediately but we can agree to disagree for now and still keep peace.
  • Staying Neutral - Avoiding being Judgemental really helps. Mother Teresa once said "If you judge people, you don't have time to love them"
  • Its just a Game - The dualistic concept of who wins and who loses dilutes pretty easily if one of the person quits this quarrel game (Games People Play is a must read).

That said lets admit that a conflict free "perfect" world with "perfect" partners and acquaintences isn't the way things happen in real world; So lets (for a change) try being little adaptive, super patient and relish the potential conflicts carry. They sure serve as eye openers for some, positive experiences for some others and indicators to start afresh elsewhere for the rest ! **

"Experiences make us who we truly are"

** Beware of views expressed by me (My mind has been humming on since past 20 hrs with near zero hour sleep) so think thrice (I advise even more) before adopting any of my tips :-D. But yes do have a fantastic week ahead...!


Deep said...

that was brilliant one... have a nice and relaxing weekend dude!!

Simply Complicated said...

That was a brilliant post paajiz. Guess just the right one for me to restart with a bang!!! Will start in a day or two. Enjoy buddy. And keep well.

Chinmay said...

Thanks Deep - u 2 have a splendid weekend ahead...!
Cheers !

Chinmay said...

Hey Sumeet,

Thanks-looking fwd to spotting ur new post @ "Wanderers Wondering" soon :) Happy Diwali !

s k gupta said...

Conflicts are interesting & inevitable part of any relationship.
In fact, we need to mhave certain minimum level of intimacy..friendship mto have real coflict.
It also reflects our own level of Possessiveness...we expect our dear & dear ones to act or behave as per our own set of belief/ rules.
Neverthless, most of the conflicts result in stronger bond of friendship.
Conflicts give us a chance to vent our feelings & get de-stressed.We also get instantanious attention in case of conflict.

The bullet points ..are quite thought provoking & praiseworthy.
nice blog indeed....The couple is gorgeous..& so is this blog.