Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Glass Half Full...!

Its 5AM EST and I am at a Starbucks Store right off the Mass Pike sipping my Cinnamon Dolce Latte, gazing outside the Store Window, giving finishing touches to my STARS slides (today's pitch needs to be perfect!)on my Laptop and somehow I feel so different today-its exceptionally quiet out here. All I can hear is a miniature sound of chirping birds (or may be insects), hum of trucks on Mass Pike, sound of a distant police siren somewhere and a very strong and distinct throbbing of my heart. I wonder-Was I tuning out such small sounds before or wasn't I attentive enough? Well, I guess I know the reason for sure this time...
The roller-coaster ride I was forced into-2 weeks ago has certainly depleted my otherwise turbo-charged energy reserves and enthusiasm levels. Sudden news about a devastating loss of a dear acquaintance (my self appointed creative protege) has left me with a never ending spiral of following feelings:

Shock<-> Denial<-> Anger<-> Vapidness <-> Puzzled <-> Depression --> Acceptance

I have been trying to keep myself engaged in challenges & activities that divert my attention but those unpleasant emotions keep hitting me again and again and again:( The mind keeps denying the news of sudden disappearance of the very person who used to equip me with super-creative ideas & off beat tips for my creative pursuits-even though it knows its a truth I have to live with now on! What's even more surprising is that my plants (gifted by the same person) dried up the same day too-c'mon how can this be true? Are the events co-related? Well, I seriously don't have a logical or pragmatic answer but they certainly have left a deep impression in my mind.

While I appreciate the phenomenal support provided by everyone during past few weeks so much, I have also come to realize that in order to deal with such losses constructively, its very vital to consider "
Acceptance" Stage (in spiral of emotions listed above) as one's indispensable Goal that needs to be accomplished as quickly as possible. It sure is very easier said than done and coping up takes time but inner strength, good food, writing and engagement in community based initiatives help a lot. And in the bigger scheme of things (Life I mean), one has to and must move on - right?

I am sure that the remaining 2 hours of drive will bring me back to equilibrium but the essence of what I had and what I lost might stay on with me for the days to come!
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."


Nidhi said...

Hey C'mmon cheer up mate...lets plan for some high wattage fun at New Yr to alleviate ur mood Okay!

Sandeep said...



Peggy said...

Do you see the world from the half empty or half full perspective?

This was a well-written article with an honest perspective. Good luck.